Non-Jews are for practice
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
