Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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