Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
