Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
