roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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