so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
