this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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