My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
