Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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