Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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