I hate all girls vehemently.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
