You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
