I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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