ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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