Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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