I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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