I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
