im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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