Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
