hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
