would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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