His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
