i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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