I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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