the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
