there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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