Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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