All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
