You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
