I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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