Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
