Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
