That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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