like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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