Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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