This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
