After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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