another moral hangover. fuck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
