whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
