apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
