I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
