Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
