Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
