It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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