You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
