i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
