thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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