We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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