I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
