It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
