yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
