So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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