Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
