I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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