I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
