I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
